“Hello?” He sounded like he was waking up from a nap, she couldn’t have that, she would kill for a nap especially with everything.
“Hi dad.”
“Oh my sweet daughter, thank goodness you called. I have to tell you some bad news.”
“I know, mom told me already. Are you okay?” Stay calm Luna, this will be where the guilt comes in.
“I’m sad, I told you momma I wanted to tell you but it’s fine. How was she handling the news… not bad since she didn’t know him, but she knew she couldn’t say that because her dad would lecture her about how his dad cared but not as much as her dad wanted her to care.
“I feel weird because I hardly saw grandpa but I’m sad he’s gone.” And the Oscar for Best Performance goes to Luna. She could hear her dad crying on his side, she wasn’t ready for tears, no one warned her about anyone crying… she couldn’t deal with that. She hardly knew how to handle when her friends would cry, she definitely couldn’t handle hearing her dad crying.
“Dad? Are you okay?” Act like he is your friend, Luna. That would make this moment go faster, she could hope.
“I’m just sad. I wish you could have met him more, he was great. I will be going to the funeral, do you want me to ask you mom to come with me? You could meet your cousins and other side of the family.” ABORT! ABORT MISSION! No one said anything about her going to a funeral. She knew nothing about how to behave in a funeral or who to talk to but also Luna knew no one from her dad’s side, they weren’t the most welcoming.
“We would have to see what mom says since it’s the beginning of the school year. I doubt she would want me missing school.” True with a hint that Luna did not want to go also she didn’t want to be alone with her dad. Nothing personal to him.
“I’ll talk to her afterwards. How’s school?” The dreadful question. She has been hating that question when she gets asked.
“School is good, still learning my new schedule, making friends but that’s it.”
“Still no boys, right?” That’s his main focus! She could be straight up and say, totally the guy she loved is rarely seen and she had a friend that was a guy but she had to kiss him to prove that she didn’t like him like that.
“Nope, no boys.” Lies! All lies, but she couldn’t respond with the truth, especially at this moment.
“Better keep it that way.” She couldn’t help but roll her eyes and try to hold back her anger since he still hasn’t said sorry for everything. Luna just wanted this conversation to be over.
“Yeah, well I have to go walk Chewie, I will talk to mom about me going to the funeral. She will let me know or if anything she will call you about it too.” She was going to tell her mom, but she was going to make sure that Luna wasn’t going to go because she didn’t know half that family…actually…she knew no one on her dad’s side.
“Okay baby, let me know. If you need me to talk to your momma. I will. I love you.” The ultimate test…does she love him? She loves her dad, but right now she doesn’t because he doesn’t care about her, she has to lie about school and who she is friends with, but she has to care about his feelings more than her own, it sucks a lot more.
“Love you too dad.” Luna hung up and just took a breath knowing she took care of that call. She looked at her mom’s phone and questioned if she wanted to save his number on her phone. She didn’t want to cause more problems.
“Hey mom, so he wants me to go to the funeral. I said I would ask you since it’s the beginning of the school year.”
“Yeah, no. Do you even want to go?”
“Not really, I don’t know that side of his family. I would feel weird being there but he wouldn’t understand that.” Nothing felt wrong when she said it, she just felt like she was breaking her dad’s heart, but he started it…technically.
“Okay, I can tell him that can’t go to New York right now. Are you sure you’re okay?” Why does she care so much? Her mom has seen cry several times and did nothing, why does care now that she isn’t crying?
“Yeah, I’m fine. Doing better than him, I don’t know how I am supposed to feel since I hardly knew the guy but also dad never talked about him so it’s hard to put a face to the name which is worse for me.” She wasn’t going to hide how she felt because nothing was wrong. She wished she could feel sad or something close to it, but Luna couldn't. Her mom gave her a hug, expecting Luna to cry because she didn’t feel like crying or had an urge to cry.
“I know you don’t know how to feel but I didn’t make it by hiding you from the idea of death. I shouldn’t have done that because now you don’t know what to do with yourself.” What? Is she serious right now? How is Luna supposed to respond, what is she supposed to say? Both her parents suck because they both do this thing where they blame themselves for something they couldn’t control. Her dad does it more than her mom, but when her mom does it she makes Luna feel guilty for it all when she had nothing to do with it.
“It’s okay mom. I’m going to go walk Chewie, so I can start my homework.” She let her mom go, and got started on the process to walk Chewie. Once she stepped outside, Luna could breathe again.
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