As weeks passed during her summer break, she hardly saw Aaron after everything. She watched her ceiling fan more than anything. Luna spent her days just bored at home. She would go across the busiest road to Walmart just to kill some time but since she didn’t have any money to buy anything, she hated going. She was bored. She started walking Chewie more often just to get out the house. Luna felt a tap on her back which obviously freaked her out because she had her headphones on. It was Aaron. She took her headphones out of her ears to hear him better.
“Hey Aaron, how’s your summer been going?”
“Weird, so my parents are going to get the divorce after we finish with school so they don’t get in the way of our focus.” He needs a friend and of course he goes to her. She knew this would happen eventually that he needed a friend, not the whole parents getting a divorce.
“Oh no, I’m sorry Aaron. Want to come talk about it upstairs, my mom has meetings all day today so I am on my own.” Why would she word it that way?! It sounded like Luna was trying to get him alone; she did but not for those reasons. She just didn’t want other people in his business.
“I was wondering if you and I can walk and talk.”
“Sure, let me bring Chewie home. He doesn’t do well on normal strolls.” They both walked to the stairs, she took off his harness and leash, refilled his bowl with ice cold water, dropped her headphones on her bed, and grabbed two water bottles. She stepped outside, locked the door and there was Aaron right in front of her. She thought he was down the stairs, she was lucky the water was right between them.
“Water?” He took it and walked back down the stairs. She could feel her face get flushed, she ignored it and reminded herself again that her and Aaron are friends, nothing else.
“I don’t know why I did that…I guess since the last time we were that close I was dealing with mini me that I wanted to make sure that I didn’t do it again if we were that close again. Sorry.” That made no sense to Luna but she didn’t care, she was just glad to get out of the house for an hour.
“It’s fine, it just scared me when I thought you were still downstairs. I thought you were going to do something, but it's fine.” Shoot! Please don’t ask what she meant by that! Please don’t ask!
“You thought I was going to kiss you?” He didn’t have to ask, he already knew the question. Why was she not surprised?
“What? No, eww that would be gross. Us kissing, no thank you!” Smooth idiot!
“So you don’t want me to kiss you?” Her eyes widened but she kept her head looking down so then he wouldn’t see her blushing.
“I want…” She hesitated, she immediately thought about Oliver and how she would be breaking his heart and he wouldn’t know it. She tried justifying that technically he and her weren’t a thing. She thought about what Joaquin said about how Aaron treats girls, but he only treated Luna like a sweetheart. “I want to understand you.”
“What does that mean Luna?”
“You say that you didn’t see me in that light before, now you do. You say it’s okay if I think of us as just friends but then you make it seem like you’re about to kiss me. I don’t understand you and it’s confusing. Why?” She slowed down her walking, realizing they were near the playground. It was empty that they chose to sit there and just to get the conversation started. She sat at the edge near the fireman pole, while Aaron was pacing at the bottom. He seemed like he was trying to figure out how to answer her questions. She got up when he started walking toward her.
“The reason why it’s confusing is because…because,” without even thinking, Luna kissed him. She didn’t want to hear his reason, she wanted to see if kissing him would tell her how she felt toward him. While she was kissing him, she felt weird. She felt like she was kissing a relative and she didn’t like it. When they took a step back, she realized that she had no feelings for Aaron. She looked at Aaron and he was making the same faces as her.
“Are we both thinking that us kissing was wrong?” She had to break the tension.
“Yeah, why?”
“Probably because we don’t have actual feelings for each other. We were around each other enough that we got used to each other’s company as well as I always like my knight in shining armor. Don’t believe me, go ask Oliver, he’s been my hero since 5th grade.” All these weeks of watching nonstop movies paid off. She sounded like a pro for that reason.
“That could be it, maybe I kissed you wrong.”
“No, you kissed me right…it just means that we aren’t meant to be like that, it means we are supposed to stay friends.” Adult answers for awkward issues. She was glad that she could get him off this idea of them dating. If she dated Aaron, a lot of issues would happen from Oliver’s heart breaking to Joaquin’s rude remarks to break us up to all of our bus friends being shocked by the fact they are dating. Luckily the kiss told us the answer we both needed.
“So I am a good kisser? That still doesn’t explain the last time I saw you, can you explain that to me?”
“I think the reason you were like that was because it was late and we were still hanging out, I was wearing something exposing that your boy grossness kicked in seeing me in that light. It didn’t help that we held hands when we went to the other side of the complex, so that added to the idea that we liked each other like that. That’s the best reason I can think of for the last time.” Luna is showing the adult side and she needs to stop. She needs to remind herself that she can’t trust anyone with that side of her. It’s not the best side of her because everyone will expect adult answers when she doesn’t want to give those out. She turns into an adult when she is put in positions she doesn’t want to be in anymore.
“When did you become an expert in all of this? Also you haven’t answered my other question?”
“I mean the only other person that kissed me was forcing me to kiss him so yeah I guess you are a good kisser. The reason I am an expert is because of movies and tv shows.” NO! Luna! Take it back, take it back, take it back! Why did she say it? What was she thinking?
“I am glad you think I am a good kisser, also what do you mean he forced you to kiss him? It’s not the guy you like so much right, because I will hurt him if he did.”
“No, oh god no! He would never do that to me, and I think he would be too scared to do that since I was his bully in 5th grade.”
“He better not, I mean it Luna, if I find out that your sweet boyfriend not boyfriend is forcing you do things you aren’t ready for, I will personally fight him.” Wow, this was a new side of Aaron that Luna wasn’t used to seeing. Which meant he was returning back to his protective brother side which was great.
“He wouldn’t do that, he loves me way too much.” She said that with a small smile on her face, she knew that was true but she thought about one line. One line she heard from Lucas, ‘I am doing this to you because I love you so much.’ She acted like she wasn’t thinking about that line.
“Luna, just be careful around your boy.”
“He wasn’t the boy that forced me to kiss him, if that’s what you are thinking. Oliver and I have never kissed.”
“Oh…wait a minute then who was it?”
“You don’t know them, and they don’t go to our school or live in this city. He lives in Tampa.”
“Tampa? Doesn’t your dad live in Tampa? Oh god, Luna! Please let me be wrong?”
“No, it’s not my dad. He was just some boy. He isn’t in my life anymore, I hope.”
“That’s why you get sad when you talk about your dad, that’s why you avoid these topics. Someone that was around your dad had a son that was forcing you to do things and no one believed you.” Don’t show any emotions, Luna.
“I think we should keep walking around before we catch weird tans.” Luna was trying not to think about it. She didn’t want to focus on it, she wanted to scream. All Luna wanted to do was run away and not look back. She said calmly and quietly, “do you ever wish you could run away and not look back?”
“Luna, are you okay?” That was a good question, was she okay? Why did she suddenly feel like she should be back home in bed? Why did she feel like it was okay to get lost in the woods, it’s not like many people would notice her gone?
“Yeah, I am fine. Why do you ask?” As she is tearing up and has a smile on her face. She was showing a different side of herself. She needed to get away from Aaron, she needed to be alone to calm her thoughts.
“I’m sorry Luna, I didn’t know.”
“No one ever does or no one believes me. Look, I’m gonna head back to my place. I gotta check on my dog.”
“I’ll take you back.” NO! She needs to be alone! Luna’s mind is playing the words all over again, she was seeing moments she didn’t like. She wished she could disappear. She wanted to just drop dead. No one would care, she wouldn’t be surprised if Oliver wouldn’t care, she treated him like he was nothing but a toy, she wished that she could have treated him better. She wished that could be someone else at this point.
“You don’t have to, plus your place is that way.” As she gestured the other way just to make it easier for her to get rid of him.
“I am not leaving you alone, especially with how you’re acting right now.”
“I told you I’m fine, Aaron. Trust me, I will be fine going home. Alone.” Let’s hope that gets Luna alone.
“Luna, I am not leaving you alone and nothing is going to change my mind. So stop saying that you are going home alone. You are home alone all day today and I don’t know how I would handle knowing if something were to happen to you because you were alone.”
“Fine.” She already knew that he wasn’t going to change his mind so just get home and she can finally break down. She wasn’t going to do that outside, especially here. All the neighbors speak to each other so she knew that it would end up going to her mom and she can’t afford that, not right now. She had only had one more month of summer vacation and she didn’t want to be watched every second.
As she and Aaron were walking, the silence was loud enough that everyone could hear it. She didn’t want to speak, she already said too much. She couldn’t control what she would say in front of him anymore. She needed a lot of distance from Aaron. She can’t be around him. He looked like he wanted to say something, but he kept quiet.
“What? I know you want to say something.”
“I was going to say you are amazing. You are stronger than you look and that is amazing; that after everything, you can still smile and help others. You are amazing.” Wow, she was never told that before. She wanted to cry but she knew that once she started it wasn’t going to stop for a while.
“Thank you, and I do mean it. Thank you.” She sounded defeated because she was showing her true face, no mask just her. The rest of the walk back, they were quiet but it wasn’t a bad quiet. Luna didn’t know what to do anymore. She left like she was put in a spot that she can’t get out of. She could hear the words in her head ‘I miss your body,’ she felt herself shutter out of disgust but not noticeable because Aaron didn’t see it.
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